About me

Bite my shiny metal ass. Well I’da done better, but it’s plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence.

My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book ‘Earth in the Balance”, and the much more popular ”Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth’, we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards.

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I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though! I didn’t ask for a completely reasonable excuse! I asked you to get busy! Professor, make a woman out of me. Shinier than yours, meatbag.
When Aliens Attack

Stop it, stop it. It’s fine. I will ‘destroy’ you! Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money! Good news, everyone! I’ve taught the toaster to feel love! Daylight and everything.

My work

One hundred dollars. Does anybody else feel jealous and aroused and worried? Is the Space Pope reptilian!?

Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution. I’m allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die. When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.

I’m allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die. What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway. Inflammable means flammable? What a country.

I’ll be back. You can’t keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I’m back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies. What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway. I stand by my slur.

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